Do Pattaya ladies make good girlfriends and wives? This is an age-old question that lots and lots of people have grappled with at one time or another. There is no clear answer to it, everyone is different and some find true
happiness with Pattaya women whilst others get burned time and time
again. The good news is that, with a little thought and effort, you can prepare
yourself for some of the common issues that may surface during a
relationship with a typical Thai lady.
If you want to meet a lady for serious romance, online dating at a good dating site is a better place to start than a disco in Pattaya. There's nothing wrong with discos if short term fun is what you are looking for, but the tourist focused venues are not suitable for any meeting the love of your life.
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There are no certainties about Thai dating here though... that's a big part of the problem! Your judgement might say one thing, but you might not know for certain what the best course of action is! My advice is to familiarize yourself with Thai dating culture before jumping into anything serious.
Cultural differences can be a really big cause of trouble and strife with your nearest and dearest. Happily, if you can get a good understanding of the differences between your two cultures, you will have a good chance of resolving any problems. That being the case, this report is focused on getting you started with some of the basic differences that come into play when dating Thai girls.
One of the most common forms of cultural conflict comes around the expectations of your girl's wider Thai family. If you are having relationship problems, it is all too easy to just blame all of those problems on the in-laws! It's easy but not usually fair... misunderstandings due to deeply felt cultural motivations, and the fact that communication will likely be very difficult, means that really understanding the in-laws is difficult. The subject of money will crop up in all sorts of ways that you will feel are not just inappropriate, but immoral and unfair.
During my own experience with Thai girls, I can tell you that the subject of the extended Thai family and money has reared its head on numerous occasions! It feels like an ugly, greedy, blood sucking monster that is always hungry! Happily, the reality is different... it will take time for mutual understanding to flourish, but it is possible to find solutions that everyone can live with.
The root of the trouble here is that, in Thai culture, the children of the parents are often expected to look after the parents as they get older whereas in Western culture that is not the case. In the west, people have state welfare to help them out in old-age, or personal pensions and savings etc. That has not traditionally been the case in Thailand and so the children help out. It's not seen as a burden by the children, they are usually happy to be able to help. They also know that when their time comes, their own children will help them out and so the cycle continues.
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It's a perfectly good system that has worked for centuries; it's also a system that doesn't work once a typical Western man is brought into the equation! Constantly sending money to the family that you can't even communicate with is not going to work unless you have a bottomless pit of cash. Most people need to try to find a compromise if long-term success is going to be found, and compromising with Pattaya ladies is not easy...
Your wider Thai family, if you already have one, probably do not understand that in Western
culture people have to save part of their earnings throughout their
working lives in order that they can take care of themselves in
retirement. I'd advise anyone who is involved with Thai dating to work
tirelessly at getting this message across. I doubt that you will want
your children to be left with the task of supporting you in your old
age, so you need to get some appreciation of your feelings understood at an early stage.
Mutual understanding is your mission in almost all circumstances and not just about money. Always ask yourself... what am I missing here, what don't I understand, what don't they understand? This is usually the best starting point; if you can't get satisfactory answers, that is the time to start beating the war drums - not before! Even then, it is usually better to adopt the softly, softly approach when dealing with Pattaya ladies...
In a nutshell, as with all misunderstandings and disagreements, the only way through it is via compromise. You will need to determine just how far you are prepared to compromise, and how far you expect others to compromise. After that it's in the lap of the gods. I wish you all the best.
In Thailand Lady (part 2 of 3) there are some examples of the kind of relationship that you really don't want to find yourself in along with some tips about what signs to look out for in a Thai girl's character.
Pattaya Women and Relationships (part 3 of 3); in the final part of my report on Pattaya ladies as potential girlfriends/wives, I'll cover a few of the worrying signs to look out for in your girl's behaviour and character. Also, I'll go on to discuss how a life of bar-work takes its toll.
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