Do Pattaya ladies make good girlfriends and wives? This is an age-old question that lots and lots of people have grappled with at one time or another. There is no clear answer to it, everyone is different and some find true happiness with Pattaya women whilst others get burned time and time again.
The good news is that with thought and effort, you can prepare yourself for some of the common issues that may surface during a relationship with one of the ladies. There are no certainties about Thai dating here though.... that's a big part of the problem! Your judgement might say one thing, but you might not know for certain what the best course of action is! My advice... get hold of my eBook 'Thai Dating Culture', it will make things a whole lot easier to understand if you are unfamiliar with Thai customs regarding romantic relationships.
Cultural differences can be a really big cause of trouble and strife with your nearest and dearest. Happily, if you can get a good understanding of the differences between your culture and Thailand culture, you will have a good chance of resolving these problems. That being the case, this 3-part report is focused on getting you started with some of the basic differences that come into play when dating Thai girls.
One of the most common forms of cultural conflict comes around the expectations of your girl's wider Thai family. If you are having relationship problems, it is all too easy to just blame all of those problems on the in-laws! It's easy but not usually fair.... misunderstandings due to deeply felt cultural motivations, and the fact that communication will likely be very difficult, means that really understanding the in-laws is very difficult! The subject of money will crop up in all sorts of ways that you will feel are not just inappropriate, but immoral and unfair too!
During the years I've been with my Thai wife, I can tell you that the subject of the extended Thai family and money has reared its head on numerous occasions! It feels like an ugly, greedy, blood sucking monster that is always hungry! Happily the reality is different.... it has taken some time for mutual understanding to flourish and I'm not sure it will ever be fully appreciated, but it is possible to find a solution that everyone can live with.
The root of the trouble here is that, in Thai culture, the children of
the parents are often expected to look after the parents as they get
older whereas in Western culture that is not the case.... everyone has
state welfare to help them out in old-age, or personal pensions and
savings etc. That has not traditionally been the case in Thailand and so
the children help out. It's not seen as a burden by the children, they
are usually happy to be able to help. They also know that when their
time comes, their own children will help them out and so the cycle
It's a perfectly good system that has worked for centuries; it's also a system that doesn't work any more once a Western man is brought into the equation! Constantly sending money to the family that you can't even communicate with is not going to work unless you have a bottomless pit of cash! Most people need to try to find a compromise if long-term success is going to be found, and compromising with Pattaya ladies is not easy!
In fact, Pattaya ladies are risky to get seriously involved with at all, your better off heading to a less tourist focused area to find a lady worthy of your affection. Online dating is also possible and ThaiFriendly.com is a good choice for a dating site.
That's not much use if you are already in a relationship, but it's worth noting if you are not yet committed!
Your wider Thai family, if you already have one, probably do not understand that in Western culture people have to save part of their earnings throughout their working lives in order that they can take care of themselves in retirement. I'd advise anyone who is involved with Thai dating to work tirelessly to get this message understood. I doubt that you will want your children to be left with the task of supporting you in your old age, so you need to get some appreciation of your feelings understood.
Mutual understanding is your mission in almost all circumstances and not just about money. Always ask yourself... what am I missing here, what don't I understand, what don't they understand? This is usually the best starting point; if you can't get satisfactory answers, that is the time to start beating the war drums - not before!!! Even then, it is usually better to adopt the softly, softly approach when dealing with Pattaya ladies!!!!
In a nutshell, as with all misunderstandings and disagreements, the only way through is via compromise. You will need to determine just how far you are prepared to compromise, and how far you expect others to compromise. After that it's in the lap of the gods.... I wish you all the best!
In Thailand Lady (part 2 of 3) there are some examples of the kind of relationship that you really don't want to find yourself in along with some tips about what signs to look out for in a Thai girl's character.
Pattaya Women and Relationships (part 3 of 3); in the final part of my report on Pattaya ladies as potential girlfriends/wives, I'll cover a few of the worrying signs to look out for in your girl's behaviour and character. Also, I'll go on to discuss how a life of bar-work takes its toll on these girls.
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