Pattaya Bar Girls Question 1: I’m no fool; I know when a girl is being sincere with me. Isn’t the advice on this page just for less experienced men?
No, not at all, this advice is for everyone. If you only have experience of the ladies from your own country then you will almost certainly underestimate the ability of girls from a less fortunate background to lie convincingly.
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Thai culture itself takes a less dim view of lying in certain circumstances e.g. where it is done to save-face or avoid conflict, so the aversion to lying that you get in Western culture is not felt so deeply in Thailand. Trust me when I tell you that simple little white lies are so commonplace in Thailand that you’ll soon wonder if you’ve ever been told the truth about anything! Add to that the problem that your relationship might not be based purely on lies (she may well have some genuine feelings for you but at the same time she may have absolutely no intention whatsoever to be faithful to you) and you get a situation that is very difficult to read.
Question 2: I stayed with a bar girl for 2 weeks and she never once asked me for any money, surely that proves that she is one of the good girls?
I’m not saying that she is not the genuine article, but something like this proves nothing about her true motives and it happens all the time. It is quite common for a bar girl to refrain from asking for cash, I’ve even heard of Pattaya girls that actually dig into their own pockets and help support their foreign boyfriends when they are short of cash. None of this means that the girl involved is suitable for serious commitment. It may well mean that she has genuine affection for you, but don’t let that convince you that the girl is loyal.
Question 3: All my girl wants is to be with me in my country; we’ve spoken about getting a visa for her to come and stay with me and she can’t wait. How could this be a trick?
In some cases the whole point of getting close to a foreign boyfriend is so that she can get to your country. There is a common misconception that this is the secret desire of every Thai girl but that is a gross misconception; most Thai girls want to remain in Thailand. It is a good sign if she wants to go with you to your country, but she could easily be lying about that. Even if she goes through with a visa application she can easily ruin it so as to get it declined. It may even be a ploy to get you to marry her; a visa might not be possible if you are not married. I can tell you that lots of Pattaya bar girls would be more than happy to marry a customer for the financial support that it brings.
Question 4: The girl I stayed with would have quit her job for me but she said that she didn’t have enough money for the bar release fee. I was suspicious, but the bar manager confirmed that there was a sizable fee that needed to be paid?
This is an instant red card offense; there is no such thing as a bar release fee. Thailand is a free country and the girls are free to come and go as they please. The ugly truth is that this whole release fee nonsense is a lie and, worse still, your lady is almost certainly in on that lie. Whatever money you pay will be divided up between the bar manager and your girl! Some people may tell you that, if she doesn’t pay the release fee, she won’t be able to work in a bar in the area again. Don’t believe that rubbish, the bars are all struggling these days to get as many girls as they want; getting another job would be no problem whatsoever for her and she would almost certainly be able to return to the same bar if she wanted to.
Question 5: You mentioned that online dating at your recommended sites is a better option for finding the good girls, but I know of someone that got scammed by a girl online. How safe is online dating?
Yes, it is a safer option but it is not completely safe as there are quite a few online tricksters. You even find that there are some Pattaya bar girls that go online to find potential boyfriends, so you can’t afford to just assume that everything you read online is the truth. I’ve provided some guidance on my Thai Dating section about the best way to go about online dating. Of course, the best way of all is to come to Thailand for an extended visit, somewhere away from the tourist areas. You’ll then meet girls in shopping malls and all sorts of places and you can feel confident that the girl you meet will be the genuine article. Sadly, this just isn’t an option for most people as they have commitments back home, hence online dating is the best compromise.
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