A Pattaya ladyboy story was presented on the local news that had me rolling in laughter, and I thought I'd share it with you. You’ll hear all sorts of stories if you spend any significant amount of time in Thailand, usually about local nightlife shenanigans, and more often than not there's a ladyboy or two at the heart of the report.
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The usual Pattaya ladyboy story goes along the lines that some poor unfortunate foreign visitor has woken up with a splitting headache to find that his valuables have gone missing, along with his ladyboy friend that he met the night before...
Sometimes it is more sinister and the victim has been given a drug overdose via a 'spiked' drink... some poor souls have even died from this. For the most part, the people involved are just the sort of people that your average tourist definitely does not want to get involved with (the ladyboys that hang around Beach Road late at night are usually the most risky culprits).
Whilst it is true that Pattaya ladyboys can belong to a particularly desperate section of society, with extra associated risks, these sorts of bad news stories are relatively rare and sensible tourists need not be overly concerned about getting into trouble.
What I want to tell you about on this page relates to another type of story, one that sticks in my mind for a different sort of foolish behaviour i.e. where some ladyboys got involved with the wrong sort of tourists! You won't believe what happened but I assure you that this is how it was reported in the local news...
Two Iranian gentlemen were on a night out in having a good time whereupon they had the idea of asking some ladyboys if they had any cannabis for sale, or if they knew of where they might be able to find some. The ladyboys that they approached were not in possession of the cannabis themselves, but the two Iranian men gave them a few thousand baht and the task of tracking some down.
It's not clear whether or not these ladyboys volunteered to do this or whether it was all the idea of the Iranian gentlemen. It is also unclear whether or not the ladyboys ever had any intention of finding the cannabis or if they were just interested in pocketing some easy cash. Whatever the case may be, they failed in their task of finding any cannabis. The two Iranian gentlemen then asked for the return of their money... a request which was stoutly refused!
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Knowing how easy it is for misunderstandings to creep into these sorts of associations, and just about any kind of financial undertaking between a Thai and a foreigner, I can imagine that the ladyboys may have felt that the money was theirs merely for attempting to locate a cannabis dealer... or maybe they thought that the money was theirs as a gift, or perhaps they saw it as an upfront payment for some romantic services to be delivered later on (my guess is the last one since they did at least return to the Iranian gentlemen rather than disappearing into the night).
Of course, it may also be that the two men were simply conned out of some money (there are plenty of ladyboys in Pattaya that would behave in an opportunist manner and do that sort of thing). Again, the exact details are not important, what is important is the response from these two men.
You might be thinking that I'm going to tell you that the men resorted to violence... you'd be wrong. Before I continue I should point out that resorting to violence would have been a grave error.
Any foreigner who gets violent towards a Thai in Thailand is going to find himself fighting against every Thai man within shouting distance. The Thais don't mess around with this sort of thing and there's no reasoning with them that fighting when outnumbering the other party is a bit cowardly. In short, if a fight breaks out, they'll hammer your face in first and then not bother to ask questions later.
Our two Iranian gentlemen go one better than resorting to violence... I'm cringing up inside as I type this... these total boneheads went to lodge a complaint with a Police Officer!
Now, you don't need the wisdom of Solomon to know that complaining to the Police in this sort of situation is a seriously idiotic thing to do. In fact, having anything to do with drugs at all in Thailand is a crazy enough, but complaining to the Thai Police when a deal goes pear-shaped!?!
I imagine that these lunatics didn't mention anything about the cannabis to the Police Officer and just reported that some ladyboys had refused to return some money that was owed to them. That certainly didn't stop the ladyboys from filling in the missing details when the Police came a callin, ha.
Here's how it played out; because a complaint regarding drugs had been registered, the Police perform a mandatory drug test on all parties concerned. The results for the ladyboys come back clean; dumb & dumber on the other hand both tested positive for cannabis! I nearly fell off my sofa when I heard this... I can only imagine that these two muppets had enough cannabis in their blood streams to deaden the wits of a NASA think tank!
The Pattaya ladyboy story ended with the release of the ladyboys and the processing of charges against the Iranian gentlemen. A significant jail sentence (after a lengthy wait for a trial) will almost certainly follow, along with a ban from returning to Thailand. In some of the stories that I hear, justice isn't always served, but I think this one had a deserved ending!
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