The Thai girlfriend story continues...
Here’s the answer.... if your girl feels that there is even the slightest possibility that you will leave her, it is highly likely that she will seek to gather as many safety nets as possible by building up a network of other suitors. Just remember, she needs to protect the wider Thai family income at all costs.
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Even at the best of times, Thai wives and girlfriends have a reputation for jumping ship if a richer man comes along, especially if they were met in more respectable circumstances (remember she met you in a bar and she will not trust you completely because of that). If a richer man comes along who she meets in more respectable circumstances, she might well think he is a much safer long-term bet than you are.
To avoid this, you’ll need to put real effort in to convince your girl that your feelings are true, that they will never change, and that you will always provide for her family whom you love as if they were your own flesh and blood (not an easy trick to pull as your instincts will tell you that they are actually a bunch of lazy, freeloading bast***s)! She'll also need to love you; if she just scamming you for money, nothing will stop the inevitable break-up at some point.
Most importantly: NEVER let your Thai girlfriend think that your
finances are in any trouble whatsoever. If she thinks you have money
trouble, she will be deeply concerned about her family’s wellbeing and
will probably stray even if she genuinely loves you – her instincts to
ensure her family’s wellbeing come before her romantic attachment to any
man. She may well have had a previous Thai boyfriend who she had to
leave because he couldn’t support her (or she may well still have that
boyfriend and you are unknowingly supporting him!).
If you are serious about gaining her trust, you need to cut the bar scene right out of the picture. She’ll never trust you to go out alone and if she puts up with it, she’ll assume the worst… DON’T think that she is behaving herself whilst you are out!
Build up her trust in you every day. Demonstrate your commitment every day with small gifts to show her that you love her and are thinking of her. ALWAYS be aware that your best efforts might still come undone whatever you do – that’s the price you pay when you get involved with a Thai girlfriend!
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Another thing to consider, if you can afford it, is to invest in some sort of business for her – something that can be hers and that generates an income of its own. It will help with her security net and reduce her concerns over what might become of her family if you were to disappear. DO NOT invest more than you can afford to lose, you still need to make absolutely sure that your own finances are watertight if you are to be seen as a boyfriend worth keeping.
You might want to name yourself as a partner in the business that you buy for her. You could decide to let her keep all the profits; if you later separated that would make the split with you more costly to her as you would want your share of the business after the break-up. Unfortunately, becoming a partner would also reduce the independent safety net that she needs in case you initiate a split with her.
You need to way that one up, will she be more likely to find other male suitors to increase her safety net in case you leave her, or is she less likely to get other male suitors due to the extra possible business costs were you to find out about a betrayal?
She may even think that, if you found out about a betrayal, she would be able to win you back anyway! In this case there’s not much of a disincentive against courting other suitors! Regardless of this, foremost in the minds of your Thai girlfriend will be the safety net offered by many eggs in many different baskets, so don’t put too many of her eggs in your basket – let her have the business 100% in her own name….. just make sure it’s a business you can easily afford to buy for her! If this all sounds a bit like a financial arrangement rather than a romance, that’s because it probably is. You should be asking yourself ‘what will my Thai girlfriend cost me?’ rather than ‘how can I win her affection?’
Also see: the Thai girls story section
I’ve been saving the best bit of advice about promoting monogamy for last. It’s a timeless gem that works just as well in the West as it does in Thailand.... tell your Thai girlfriend that she has a serious flatulence problem during sleep and that it stinks like a rotting horse! That’ll make any girl think twice before sleeping with another man!! Unfortunately, I’m afraid it won’t do much to stop the short-time incentive, haha!
part 1 the story begins with a look at general trustworthiness and the
priorities that Thai girls have. It ended with a question i.e. how will a
girl deal with the possibility that her rich boyfriend will leave her
for another woman?
Thanks for this, I enjoyed reading it and I look forward to using the final bit of advice, ha.
I agree with the bulk of what you’ve written but I do think that there are plenty of trustworthy Thai girls out there if you know where to look. As a general rule I recommend online dating. There’s no substitute for actually being in Thailand though and you’re absolutely right about bar-girls – it’s madness to look for a Thai girlfriend amongst the working-girls.
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