The long-term relationship success-rate of Western men and Thai women, and especially Pattaya ladies, is not altogether the 'happily ever after' dream you might at first expect. Don't be too concerned though, with a little common sense, and a bit of
effort, there is no reason why Thai dating cannot lead to an enjoyable
and very happy relationship with a Thai lady. With Pattaya dating though, you will need to be extra cautious. Pattaya
is home to lots of girls that will certainly make you happy at first,
but once they get their claws in, they won't hesitate to rip your heart
out of your chest just for fun!
A serious option to be considered is online dating. Again, you do need to
be careful as there are lots of gold-diggers out there, but if you do decide to go for this option, ThaiFriendly.com is my recommended site.
It has lots of available girls and relatively few male members to compete with. It also has the cheapest instant chat service that I can find on the net.
One thing that I see much more of, with the Thai women dating scene, is a sizable age-gap between the man and the Thai lady. Your 'tilac' (sweetheart, darling etc) will assure you that, no matter how large the age-gap is, it is of no importance at all.
If you have a 30 year
age-gap, she will tell you of someone she knows who is perfectly happy
with a boyfriend who is 40 years her senior. She will genuinely make you
feel that any age-gap is of no importance whatsoever.
I do believe that significant age-gaps are generally more accepted in Thailand than in western countries, but anything over 10-15 years or so is likely to stress the relationship at some point in the future. However, that's another big generalization, a lot depends on the individuals involved.
You need to be realistic. If your girl is a 21 year old stunner whilst you are 25 years older, 40lbs overweight, bald, have a low sex drive, have completely different interests etc, then your chances of long-term success here will be about the same as they are back home. On the other hand, if you're a fit, healthy, good-looking 46 year old with a lot of energy..... enjoy!
In Pattaya, you are more at risk of finding yourself falling for a bar-girl. If you do, be extra careful!One thing to be aware of in Pattaya, and in Thailand generally, is that taking a girl back to your hotel for the night may incur an extra charge. Be aware of this when booking your hotel. I hear that Sabai Resort and Eastiny 7 are both guest friendly and will not charge you extra for this.
Cultural differences, relating to Thai women, are something you will need to get to grips with very quickly. Before you go to her home-town, to meet her parents, be aware that she is taking a bit of a risk. In introducing you to her parents, she is making a statement that the two of you are a permanent fixture. If the relationship breaks down some time later, she will suffer a huge 'loss of face'.
Most of her home-town friends and family will assume that the break-up was all her fault and they will look down on her for it. From the first time they saw your foreign face many of her friends/family will have assumed that she is a bar-girl. That's the last thing she wants, and after your relationship fails, it will only re-enforce the assumption that she's been up to no good.
Contrary to popular opinion, Thai girls make excellent wives if you choose wisely. But don't select a long-term partner from a tourist area and hope for the best, it's far too risky. There are much better opportunities on my:
There are a few money-related things you need to be mindful of with Thai women. Be careful before you go to a restaurant with her family and friends, you will be expected to pay for everyone! They are, most likely, not trying to take advantage of you. One thing that rich Thai's love to do is demonstrate their generosity (and wealth) by buying gifts etc for others. In doing this, the Thai gains status and respect. If you start to feel like you are being set up e.g. because of hints that it would be good to buy this or that thing for this or that person, you are probably just being presented with opportunities to demonstrate your generosity (or nam jai). A rich Thai would actually be pleased by this, so don't get angry. If you don't want to pay, just smile and say nothing. Before you go to a restaurant, first make sure of exactly how many people are going!
Also see: My main Thai dating section
Whatever you do, do not initiate any public display of affection with your girl if you are in a traditional Thai dating setting (i.e. outside a tourist areas). Dating Thai women is not the same as dating Western women. If you are in her home-town, even holding hands can be seen as being a bit too much! Just keep your hands to yourself and follow her lead.
If you choose carefully, Thai women can be everything you are hoping for. Stay away from the 'Pattaya ladies' and don't fall for any sob stories. At some point, you will need to return home. Long distance relationships are not easy to deal with even at the best of times. If you suspect that she might be getting up to no good whilst you are away, consider hiring an investigator. It might cost a few hundred to get her checked out, but it might just save you a fortune in the long-run.
This lovely petite young lady, 28 years old and only 47kg, is looking for a western man to be her boyfriend. If you would like to meet up with girls just as lovely, you can with my:
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